As long as you live in your own world you can be yourself right? And as I'm writing this while living in real world, living realistic life - I can't be truly myself. Probably if I would say how it all really feels you would think that I'm ill-minded. Maybe some of you would think that my personalty is beautiful. No matter what would you all though about me I can't be myself here and I can't be myself on the street because there just need to be something mysterious about me. There should be something mysterious about any girl in worl, because if you're easy - you're boring. But this year is year of change. Maybe it's time to reveal something about me? I decided to write down few facts about myself:
1. I've understood that I hate when people in my territory feels too comfortable. Even if they're my friends. I'm the boss in my territory, you're the boss in yours! So whenever somebody is touching my things I quietly panic inside! There is one of my classmates (male) who always touch my things: firstly my phone and secondly my lip balm. I hate when people use my things -- but I always let them. Because, I'm not tightwad! Also whenever people come to my house and decide to get in my fridge for food (it's all fine ofc) and makes little mess in my head like: ''why do u touch that and later that? did u washed ur hands?'' For me it's important to OFFER something to eat and then make it, for me it's important to you to sit down and just enjoy moment. If you're in my zone, you just sit down and be nice to me, so I can serve food & drinks (tea or coffee ofc) to you! Whenever I'm at my friends flat I just sit there and enjoy them cooking or just being bosses at their territory, because people always have their own system how to make food (they know where to get big pan and where to put it later) and serve food! Maybe to some of you it sounds funny, but for me it's little panic attack, ha!
2. I'm fashion blogger (ok, more lifestyle blogger) and I love new clothes, I love checking out newest trends, brands - I love owning them, I love the smell of new things! I would love to put all my good stuff on the floor and just lie there.. If you don't get it yet - I don't know person who would like to put their fancy clothes on floor and just lie there. I'm always too busy or tired so I keep all my clothes in one big lump inside of my wardrobe. Sometimes my clothes lie on working table and mostly they're in my bed. I don't take care of them! The only time when I organize my wardrobe is when I go shopping and buy something new. :) Such a shame, Elizabete! Or maybe I'm not the only one?
3. Overthinking. This is going to be fact No.3! I really enjoy being in people crowd because then I need to communicate or at least think about those people and in this case - it's not yet overthinking, it's just something that keeps my away from it. Whenever I talk to people I don't need to think about things about what I'm mostly worried. And I'm worried about everything-all-the-time! [For example: gosh, what did I say to my friend yesterday // it sounded really stupid // I feel stupid // did she/he even heard that sentence? // what if I didn't say that? // I probably had nightmare about that conversation // did it even happened? I bet it wasn't a nightmare either! // fuck, I'm suffering from schizophrenia...] So I feel like schizo! Lately I really think that I'm suffering from schizopheria.. And I can't do nothing about it! Sure, I could talk with my friends to avoid overthinking, but if I'm in bad mood I won't gonna talk, no-o-o. Also when I overthink, it's really hard to study, for example today at math tutor I did such a bad work, it was just a waste of money and time..
If someone readed this, what do you think? What can you say about yourself? Share with your thoughts! Kisses!