Hey sweetiez:) How is it going? My day was.. Meh, totally dissapointed in everyone today. Firstly my alarm clock did not not work so I woke up late -> so I went to school for 1 lesson and then with Lāsma went back to my home for lunch and some great talk (this far that was the best part of day) -> went back to school and had to math lessons - didn't understand anything. shit. -> then courier called me and asked if I'm home, shit, no I'm not home right now so I thought that he may come to school, but he didn't know where to drive and I didn't know adress of school (yeah, actually I know only my home adress..) so we decided to meet tomorrow. After moment he called me and said that we can meet now because he actually know where to go, so after 3 minutes he was at school but I already was late for physics test so I took my order, said that I'm sorry about complications and went home. -> got in fight with mom, AGAIN -> went to my math teacher. -> went home and had fight with mom part 2. Gosh, I can't take it anymore. I want to move out from this house and never come back. I know that I will miss my dad and brother, sister but this is not life, this is hell. This is my house, not home... Beautiful day, huh?! :) Here will be few photos from my phone, enjoy! 

Phone case from H&M! It's super stylish

Lunch with Lāsma at out work. Carrot cream with oranges + blackberry = sooooooo good! 

Does curly hair suits me? 

My lil cutie Rufio <3

Kisses <3


Well, I don't even know what to say. I wish I had way more time to update blog because I've put so much effort in this blog for past years. Especially in design and right now it's one of the things I like the most about this site. Minimalistic, simple and easy to perceptible. I've to mention that I don't remember why the hell I did start. What did I though about? That someday I will become famous because of this? That there will be thousands of people who will read my blog daily and be my friends? Probably I thought about that as well. But overall I started blogging because I felt alone. I felt like outsider. I had nobody to talk about things I liked, for example:''hey, what do you think of that body lotion?'' and ''oh, do you listen to that band? it's sooo good!'' bla, bla, bla. It always have been same. When I started blogging I was one of these girls who haven't seen anything in life. I always tried to look cool. I always wanted to be the one who know everything. I loved to gossip with my friends. Oh, we're drinking vodka tonight? OK! Cigarettes? No.. OK, just one. Give me just one more. And then I started to buy them by myself. And when in backyard shop they started to sell them to me (even though it was illegally back then) I always bought some for my friends if they asked. It all was cool. It all was good. First kiss? Gosh, when all my friends had chance to enjoy it around age of 12, 13 I was the one who did it when I was 16 years old. Finally, with a man. It was like a game - you have to complete every level to get to the next. And if you did it - you made it, you're one of us. Of course, my friends did not say that, but I always felt like I have to be like them no matter what. Be bad, be stupid, be ridiculous. Be like people around you to fit it, but never yourself. And then there was revulsion. I had to sit at home every Friday night. As well as Saturday nights. If wanted to go out with friends - few hours. 
When I look back I see another person. Beautiful girl with healthy long hair, white teeth, skinny. But if I was happy? I will never know. I had everything and nothing at the same time. Today I feel, hmn, all these sleepless nights, panic attacks, tears and experiences = I'm another person today. There are plenty of things that I haven't experienced yet, also so many things I've done/seen. I know exactly what I want - it's freedom. Today I'm smart enough to know that someday I want to be free as a bird. I know that someday I will forgive my mom for all my tears, someday I will forget all those fights with friends who left me and maybe, just maybe I will talk to them normally again. If not I know that I will forgive them. I will forgive for words who made me feel worthless, unhappy & ugly. Someday I will find someone who will be next to me no matter what. Who will love me for who I am. Who will teach to forgive to those people who made me unhappy. Who will hold me close. And I will prove to that person - I would die for his warm heart. Someday. I want to be free like a bird. I want to travel all around the world and be happy. I want to be victim of happiness. And life have proven that love is the key of this happiness. Maybe, just maybe (because I know I'm right) I'm wrong.. But today I feel way more smarter than I was two years before. And I don't care if anyone thinks that I'm wrong. Because I'm the one who knows better. And all this is for someone who have felt like I did years ago - don't follow your friends, follow your dreams; don't listen to people who talk shit about you, because you know the best about yourself; believe in good and smile, also don't do drugs and never try cigarettes they're not just cool looking but also addictive. 

(via weheartit.com) 
This story is part of how this blog born. I was alone and had nobody to talk with. I was the one who had no personality, but here it started to grow. I re-read everything I posted and started to understand myself more and more. I started to realize that half of people I knew back then was just bloated bubble which exploded when I started to realize what is meaning of ''wannabe''. Society is fucked up, be yourself and if you need some backup help, here are so many posts about my experience in life. My spiritual experience!

For those who didn't read this post, don't worry - some ''photos via Instagram'' post are coming soon as well as other posts! 



After yesterday shock I had after my mom took out my lenses out of my eyes, I will always admire & respect blind people. That is just amazing how they can take care of theirself without seeing. Since Friday I have lenses. I wore them whole week and only yesterday I tried to take them out. Actually, I tried everynight - without results. But as they're so comfortable and for long-term use I was wearing them all week. And when I had to take them out of my eyes and again - it didn't work I asked my mom for help. She did it. And I looked around. And I started to cry. It all was hazy. It was huge shock for me after week with lenses and perfect vision. So, that's how it's going right now. Yes, I might be too sensitive, that's why I'm so upset. Going to put them back tomorrow morning before school. It's Friday tomorrow and I want to party but as I have math tutor on Saturday morning I may stay at home. Will see. I should start to study right now or at least tidy up my room (oh gosh, sometimes I can't believe that I'm a girl. Vitamins & other medicine, camera, press, cosmetics, nail polishes, books, umbrella and clothes - all on my table.. :| ) but I feel tired, so I'm going to make some tea for myself and watch my fav tv show. And how do you feel today? :)

(source: wehearit)



Heeey! It seems so sunny and warm outside today, gosh, I really want to enjoy this day but after 2 hours I will be at my job working until 9 PM. That means I'm going to be home about 10 PM, so no time for homework. At least on Mondays school starts about 10 AM, so I'm going to wake up earlier and do my homework. This week was really colorful even thought nothing big happened. I had calm weekend as well - movies, tea & cosy evening with my kitten. Yes, again we have one super cute kitten living in our home. I'm going to miss him when he will find new home! I'm totally into cats, haha. <3 Enjoy few photos of this week!

I'm a #nellyholic for sure! More HERE.

Healthy lunch!

Aunt sent this photo from Georgia. It's an amazingly great photo and I think that atmosphere as well - mountains, lake and Georgian wine! Had to share with it! 

Oh, such a sweetheart. We named him Rufio. :)
And how was your week ? Let me know!


NELLY.COM -> first order, review.

Hey, how is it going? I'm feeling fine! I'm totally focusing on my future plans, studying & dreaming about sunny weather as well.. :) Just finished my history homework so I had time to update blog a little bit: This time it's an outfit post that I'm sharing with! I'm totally into my new blue jeans and that black-super-comfy jumper. It's the best combo for school outfit. Today I added my newest purchase - flat over knee boot from Nelly.com! I'm so pleased with this purchase, starting with shipping - directly one week from placing order + shipping includes home delivery! Quality according to the price = great! It was my first order from Nelly.com and definately not the last one. Overall, these beauties is going to rock my Autumn outfits for sure! 

Jumper, jeans and bracelets: H&M
Flat over knee boots: Nelly.com




Oh well.. Can't believe that I got sick. My body betrayed me, my immune system is so weak that right now I got runny nose, sore throat & overall I feel like sh!t. Yesterday it wasn't that bad so I met with my classmates for an hour and then we with my friends went to our friends place to chill together a little bit. Somehow my night ended with blood -> me & one of my closest male friends got in friendly fight (it was just a joke) but then my finger started to bleed haha, not going to tell you how exactly it happened but I'm fine! :D Right now I'm drinking tea with lemon, ginger & cinnamon which is really spicy. I hope I'm going to be fine soon but no matter that I should rest right now I'm going to wash our pool -> then I should tidy up my room -> getting ready to one of the most beautiful girls birthday <3 I know that it's going to be hard to survive this day, at least I don't have to go to work today. All I can't think of is summer vibes, hot weather & drinks by the pool.. 

Photo from Cyprus when me & my sister went para sailing. Amazing experience! I really miss that beautiful place and people there.. <3
Have a great day!



Hi! Long time no see. Well again three working days in row, visiting capital city & school has started. Until today I felt fine but right now it's getting weird - I get dizzy but I hope that it's just high blood pressure and it's going to be fine soon. I'm going to share with few photos I took lately. Enjoy! <3 

Shopping time! 

New in -> category: shoes. I think this photo describes how various is my style - simple sneakers for everyday wear (h&m), fancy loafers for solemn measures (zara) and super stylish booties (danija) when I'm feeling super rebellious.. Or not so rebellious, the thing is that they were gorgeous and I couldn't leave shop without them! 

Lunching with family @ restaurant Viesistaba Vintage. They had good Ceasar salad, amazingly delicious salmon with veggies and great creme brulee! If you're ever in Latvia, Riga or may live there I recommend this place for dinner! It's so cosy there, I think it would be way more amazing to have date night there. <3

Have a great week my friends!
Kisses <3