Few things I just want to say out loud.

Hello lovelies! I hope your day was (and still is) good! Mine was.. Pretty good, but lately I'm feeling confused about things that is happening in my life and not only. I'm thinking about value of life, family and friends. Of course, it's obvious that life is life and we all have diffirent opinion about life and value of it, I can't change that and I can't change your point of view in any other values but lately I've been thinking about everything, I mean EVERYTHING and slowly but neatly summarize things & people who means something to me. I've been found out that the're some person which lately I don't like to see near to me, because you know? Everything that person do & say is just BIG bullshit. I just can't respect person who's personality is just sh#t. I'm sorry that I talk like this, but I've to say it loud! And I don't mention this to anyone personally, so why not? I found out that it feels so good to be with people who are real to me and I can have fun without all that personal shit I've with others, like: I think I've friendship with someone but is it real friendship if the person lie to me or give an promise which again is just bullshit, etc? No, it's not real friendship. Also the important thing is that I can have healthy relationship and/or friendship only if both of us are happy. I'm not happy with my friendship anymore. Like for years. I feel like shit, worthless. And guilty because I'm sure that I'm the only one who's seeing the problem. I think it's the right time when isolate myself from feelings and the person, because all I want (right now) in my life is true friendship! And I'm so thankful that God gave me one wonderful person who means a world to me..

I (or should I say we) have this tattoo for 7 months and 7 days, can you believe it? It's a little heart on my left shoulder and my friend have same heart on her left shoulder too. It may sound banal, unnecessarily and overall stupid to some of you, but for me this tattoo means true friendship. I've seen my girl crying and she have seen me crying, we've been beside to each other when our first boyfriends came and broke our hearts (or should I say, that we broke their hearts..) and other beautiful things, memories & dreams to mention. I'm just trying to say, that I hope you all have friend like I have! And if you don't - don't be sad! Someday soon..

However, I may have one true friend and other good friends as well, but if there will be the same unhappy friendship near to me I will never be happy. Because if I would like, then right now I would not talk to that person and I will always feel guilty, 'cause I'm the one who doesn't feel happy with friendship I have and at the same time I'm the one who keep her mouth shut. I can say one thing (about relationship) that I clearly know - I will never marry someone who I don't love, no matter how much I like that person, no matter how much that person means to me, because my happiness is the only thing I should care about. Then why right now I don't do anything about my friendship? I don't know. No matter how much hate I have in me, the're love in my heart too. 

Right now I would be so happy to go away for some weeks to some sunny & warm place and have great time with family or some great friend of mine... I just need rest from routine in my life. I need strenght to keep going because I've big plans for future and the're no reason to stop right now!!!

Have you ever had situation like this? Tell me, I'm curious to know!

6 komentāri:

  1. You are lucky if you do have at least one friend, true friend, in your life! :) It´s truly hard to find such thing nowadays, transparent clear friendships...where none expect anything from the other one. I found it to be impossible for me nowadays, maybe as you say, someday... but I am OK with it, sometimes it´s bad sometimes it feels good...

    Cheer up! :) Nice to read your post!


    1. I feel really lucky, sometimes even guilty because some people don't have friend like I have, but I truly wish that everyone someday will meet that person, which will be the one, true friend. And I wish for you my best! :) Feels great that you read it all, hehe! Have a wonderful day!!! :))

  2. I know how you feel! I've had that too with some of my friends. I just distance myself from them, eventually you grow apart.

    And your tattoo is sooo cute!!

    1. *High Five!* Yep, that's what I'm going to do, distance myself from that person & all negative emotions. It's time to forget all worries and finally be happy about life, ha! Thank you a lot Samiya!!! :)